Earn People, Build Relationships

Some months back I remember asking my father "Why do you keep calling and checking in on people. When no one calls you?"

He didn't answer it then. Around exactly 30 days later. l found the answer the hardest way. Standing right there at the cremation ground. I had no expectations from anyone. My mind had gone blank. I was touched by what I saw. People showed up.

He worked at Hewlett Packard for a very long time in his career. His 15-year-old friends showed up. No one was his colleague. Everyone was his friend.

He had his old school friends. They went to school together, lived nearby, started careers together. Every now and then he used to call probably just to ensure that everyone is doing fine. When one of those friends came to our home on the 13th day. He entered and saw his friend's photograph. He broke down. I could feel the pain. I didn't have the courage to look into his eyes. There is this one line he said "Love ka Roz phone aata tha. Toh lgta tha ki bs sb theek hai?".

One of papa's cousins lives in the same city as we do. We occasionally use to visit their home, sometimes they used to come over. He came on the same day. Called me closer and told me, "Beta, with him I used to even share and talk about things that I cannot share with my family". I knew calls used to go on for long. What I didn't know was that relationship was this close.

All these days I was making sure to attend to all the calls from his friends. I didn't want to bother maa to listen and repeat the same thing and break down. Another reason for getting on call was to listen to what people thought about my father.

You may not be a brother to someone by blood relation. But, people might look up to you as their elder brother by your deeds. One of his old and dear friend called. He always addresses me as "Maanu baccha....". And, I like it this way. He just said this and broke down. I could sense it from the voice. The next words were "Baccha, love bhaiya to me was like an elder brother. It feels like I have lost my elder brother today. I'll miss him. As we go ahead in our lives. We often are not in touch with old friends. Love bhaiya was different. No matter how long back he might have met someone. Still, he used to be in touch."

Did I tell you even the Doctor visited our home? His regular doctor came to know about this. Next time, I took my relatives to the same doctor for getting medicine. Even the doctor had a tale to tell. "When I could find no shop to set up my clinic. I told Mr. Bhatnagar. And, he told me he would find one for me. haha... he even told me if nothing works out. You can start your clinic from our house. I was waiting for him to come. We had many more training sessions scheduled for him. " And... while he was recalling his eyes got watery and a tear dropped. He took our address and stayed true to his words. Came to our home.

He recently joined a new job. His team members came home. "Since, the time he joined. Young folks at our company were operating at an altogether different energy level. Every morning he used to go to every person's desk to wish them Good morning. Doesn't matter if the other person is his team member or not." People shared with him not just professional but personal things too.

He connected well with people his age, my age, and everyone in between. Many looked up to him as their mentor. Careers are long. For a good enough time he operated on the intersection of industry and academia. Gave countless training. His students use to reach out to him for advice. He had no office hours. Whenever you call, he would happily help. I have also seen the days when 5-10 of his students use to come to our home randomly saying "Sir hai, sir se milna hai?"

When his phone was handed over to me. I was scrolling through his phone. Some messages were "Hi Sir, aap kaise hai? Call kr lu aapko. Aapse baat karni thi, advice leni thi?". I don't know how to respond to his students who were waiting for his response. It all happened so quickly that I fear his students don't even know. And, the number of students were so many that I don't know who they are.

He helped many start their career. Students used to call and take behavorial interview tips from him.

His student's success and friend's success was his success. His happiness was in others' happiness. I would often hear "You know, my student has made it to this company.", "My friends, kid attended my online session today", "My HP colleague has turned into an author.", "This friend has now become a VP". "My brother works with the TATA group". I mean I could just go on and on.

For him his network was everything.

The time when he had to be suddenly rushed to the hospital. Every relative was just a call away. Within hours there were around 10 people right there. When they bought him home. All of them came along with the ambulance.

I think the number of lives you impacted is not an excel sheet metric. It is "How you made the other person feel?"

My father earned people.

If you are reading this. And, you were connected to him in any way and have anything to share about him. My DM's are open, the phone is on. I am happy to listen to what you have to say. 😊

I repeat. Earn People, build Relationships. Be there through thick and thin.

On this note, a heartfelt thank you. I'm humbled by the gesture.