Increase your surface area

I came across this concept probably from one of Naval Ravikant’s quotes. That says, “increase the surface area for luck”. Though the context behind the quote was more related to career. Over the course of time, I feel that it can be applied to number of people you meet in life.

It is said, as an adult it is difficult to make friends. Life happens. Everyone is occupied in their own life and responsibilities. It is no more like school and college where you are meeting same people everyday. The circle gets limited.

Part of the problem lies in having aversion to living new experiences with an altogether new bunch of people. If you go on trips with same friends. There is no space for a new person to enter your group. Even vise versa holds true.

As someone who has always struggled in being part of any group. I have no idea why was I thrown out of groups. But, yeah I was. Be it in school or college. Eating in mess alone, to walking on road inside our engineering campus alone. Have only a handful friends from school and college. The one’s who are know who they are. Especially, later years. When groups are already made, fights have taken place. Some avoid you, you avoid some.

Through traveling, going to events and meetups alone. I have interacted with so many new folks. That there is no count. Always there is an opportunity to learn a thing or two, no one carries any expectation, there is a visible enthusiasm in what they are up to and towards life in general. You laugh together, no gossips. No common friend circle. You go in any city, in some of them you might have someone you met on some trip.

Got to play lot of games, always found myself awkward and uncomfortable in all. But, then you play. It also taught me no one really remembers whatever you say in game. It is all for fun. It is okay.

A unique sense of independence, freedom to make your own choice, space. Ofcourse, it is not all roses. The downside is close connections might be way less, there might be no 3 AM friends, there maybe no one to hold on too. Eventually, you come to terms with and make peace. This is the price you pay for increasing the surface area. :)

Recently, I was having a conversation. How everything in life is a trade off. It’s on you, which side you choose at the cost of what?